Sample Sunday: Sugar Daddies

I walked into the restaurant and looked around trying to locate Donnell. I didn’t see him. I looked down at my watch. We’d agreed to meet at seven o’clock. It was six-forty five. I was a little early, so I didn’t trip. I walked over to the bar, which was close by the door, to wait for him. I watched people walk in and out, but after twenty minutes, still no Donnell. I was beginning to think I’d been stood up, when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I swiveled around on the bar stool and came face to face with an older gentleman. My purse was setting on the stool beside me, and I assumed he wanted me to move it so he could sit down.

“Oh, I’m sorry, sir,” I said as I reached for my purse.

“Simone?” the man asked.    sugar

I wrinkled my brow in confusion. I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen this man before. “Yes, I’m Simone.”

“I thought so. I’m Donnell.”

I simply stared at the man. I know he didn’t just say what I thought he said. I did a quick scan of him. He was bald, except for the hair on the sides of his head. He was short and fat- he put me in the mind of Carl Winslow from that Steve Urkel tv show. He had none of the features that the man I’d conversed with online had. I quickly decided that he couldn’t be the same Donnell I was there to see.

“Oh, nice to meet you, Donnell,” I said before turning my attention back to the football game that was playing on the tv mounted up on the wall.
I felt another tap on the shoulder. The old man was still standing there staring down at me.

“Yes, can I help you?” I asked with a smile. He was starting to agitate me, but I was raised to respect my elders.

“Yes, we agreed to meet here. I’m Donnell…from the dating site.”

My smile slowly morphed into a frown. No way was this the man I’d been talking to online. This had to be a joke. I looked around the bar, expecting the real Donnell to be standing in a corner laughing at the joke he was playing. Well, ha ha…jokes over.

“No…that can’t be. The man I was talking to online is…”

“My son,” he said before I could finish.

“Your what?!” I exclaimed, my voice raising a few octaves.

He sat on the bar stool beside me and gave me a sly grin. “Let me explain.”

“Yes…please do.” I tried not to notice that his feet dangled from the stool and didn’t touch the floor.
“Well, my name is Donnell, but I used my son’s pictures to create the profile on my online social sites. I have a hard time meeting women, both in person and online. They take one look at me, and run for the hills. So, I’ve started using his photos to get women to talk to me,” he said matter-of-factly.

“So, you deceive women for your own personal enjoyment?” I asked him. “And what happens when you meet them and they realize they’ve been bamboozled?”

“Well, you’re the first woman who’s ever agreed to meet me in person. I guess I never expected you to say yes,” he said sheepishly.

I can’t believe this. I’ve been freaking catfished. I took in Donnell’s appearance. At least I know what the 65 in ‘browngirllover65’ stands for. He’s got to be at least that old, if not older. He had on a tweed blazer jacket, corduroy pants, and the white dress shirt he had on looked as if the button were struggling not to pop open. First Gary, now Donnell. I wish I would see Cupid’s little ass right now. I’d take his arrow and beat him with it.

“I apologize for lying to you, but it’s so hard trying to find a woman who doesn’t judge me based on my looks alone. I’m really a good guy, but nobody will give me a chance because I don’t look like a supermodel.”

I was initially mad at Donnell for his cruel joke, but I felt my heart softening and I began to feel a little sorry for him. Would it be wrong of me to try to get him to hook me up with his son, though?

“So, since we’re both here, would you like to have a drink with me…my treat?” he asked me.