My Random Observations of Sex and the City

I’ll admit, when SATC premiered back in June 1998, I was a 19 year old young adult, and I’d recently found out I was pregnant with my first child. I was in college and working part time, so I somehow missed this show. If my mind serves me correctly, TBS used to air re-runs, but I still never really gave the show my full attention until just a few years ago. My oldest child is now 16, he has a sister, who’s 10, and I have a husband (who’s like one of my kids) and although I love them all dearly, I sometimes need an escape from them. That’s where SATC comes in. One day, on a rare occasion where I had the house all to myself- no arguing kids, no “Mom, I’m hungry,” and no husband complaining about something or another…just total peace and quiet- I was channel surfing, and came across a SATC marathon on E! I was immediately hooked, and set the DVR to record the series, so I wouldn’t miss an episode. Eventually, I requested my husband buy me the complete series set for Christmas.
While these ladies and their sexcapades are hilarious, at times I found myself rolling my eyes at them and their shenanigans. These are just a few things that I observed about love & relationships from watching this show…
1. You can’t force a man to love you. As fabulous and style savvy as Carrie was, it was just sad to watch her throw herself at Mr. Big for all those years. I can’t count how many times I’ve found myself yelling at the tv, “HE DON’T WANT YOU!” Look, no matter how much you whine, cry, or beg; no matter how good you put it on him in the bedroom, no matter how beautiful or sexy you are…if a man is not ready to settle down, he’s not going to do it. Trying to force him to do so, will only make him pull away and lose interest altogether. Such was the case with Carrie and Big. He showed her on several occasions that she was nothing more than his favorite side-chick, even married another woman, and she still chased after him relentlessly. Yeah, she wore him down and he FINALLY married her (at the end of the series) but I would have been too through way before that. He must have been really good in the sack, because ain’t no way Joyce would have chased any man, and especially one that made it known he wasn’t feeling me. Carrie should have loved herself as much as she loved those Manolo Blahnik’s.
2. There’s nothing wrong with being a strong, I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T woman, but unless you wanna be alone forever, you can’t totally stomp on the balls of the man in your life like a grape, and expect him to stick around for it. I admired Miranda, she handled her business. Even after she got pregnant, she didn’t develop the woe-is-me, I’m a single mom, syndrome. Honey, poor Steve never had a chance. (side-note, I don’t know why I found him so cute, in a nerdy kind of way, but then again, I’ve always like brainy men). Anyway, he was either incredibly strong or incredibly stupid to stick around and let her belittle him over and over and over again. I know these days, some of these men act worse than a woman on her worst P.M.S. day. Especially if you mess around and get yourself a mama’s boy…you just wanna slap him and tell him to man up, already. But if you have a good man who genuinely tries to make you happy and handle his business, don’t talk down to the man and make him feel like crap when he comes up short. That’s a surefire way to find yourself, by yourself. On the SATC movie, when Steve confessed to cheating, a teeny, tiny part of me was cheering, yelling, “GO STEVE!” He defied Miranda’s ball-busting, bossy ass. For real, he shouldn’t have cheated, but can you blame him?
3. Now, I know our mother’s always taught us that premarital sex is wrong, you’re supposed to save yourself for your husband, and all that jazz. But just like many other things we did against the wishes of our mom’s, this is just one that I have to say, mother didn’t know best. There is no way I can marry a man, without test-driving the D first. Because, as in Charlotte’s case, she married her beloved Trey, who had all the qualities she wanted in a man- he was rich, good looking, and gave her the world. Unfortunately, there was one thing he failed to deliver, and that was the big ‘O‘. Unfortunately, she didn’t find out about his sexual skills, or lack of them, until AFTER the I DO’s were said and done. Needless to say, that marriage didn’t last very long. For you single ladies, this is one time I’d have to just endure mama’s disappointing stares. Take your mom out to dinner, buy her a new outfit, bribe her somehow…but make her understand that sampling the goodies is a must, BEFORE you walk down that aisle.
4. Sleeping around with as many men as you can, isn’t necessarily a bad thing, if you’re single. But you can’t use men and sex to make you feel better about yourself…trust me, it’ll only make you feel worse at the end of the day. I loved Samantha out of all the women the most, because she kept it real. If your, er, manhood wasn’t big enough, she wasn’t going to do like some women, and lie to make her man feel better. She was going to tell you. She loved sex and wasn’t ashamed to admit it. But deep inside, she was vulnerable and a little insecure, but she hid it well, underneath all her sassiness and sexiness. But all it took was the right man (Richard) to break her down, and after that, she didn’t know what to do with herself. There is a cliche that as long as you give a man great sex, you’ll have him wrapped around your little finger. LIES! Good sex has never made a man stay. Point. Blank. Period. Love yourself, because in the famous words of RuPaul, “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an AMEN up in here!”
5. Don’t settle for a man in an attempt to get over an ex. IT WON’T WORK. Carrie knows good & damn well she never liked Aiden like that. I never got what she saw in him anyway, until he cut his hair…then he started looking a little better. Sure, he made her laugh, was all big, tall, and strong, and maybe even gave her decent sex, but none of that meant a dam thing once Mr.Big came back into the picture. She might as well had tossed Aiden out on the curb with the trash, because he served her no real purpose. I can remember, a long time ago, when this guy I really, really liked, dumped me. I had to hurry up and replace him, because he was one of those guys that you can’t be single, making it look like you were incapable of getting another man after him, because he broke you down just that bad. So, I found some guy, who I really never liked, but he looked good on my arm, and I was able to brag and say, “Ha, I got a new boyfriend, how do you like those apples?” the next time I saw my ex. But I was straight frontin’ and stuntin like my daddy, because I knew deep down, I still wanted the ex. Aiden was just Carrie’s arm piece, a shiny new toy to throw in Big’s face to make him jealous. She knew it, Big knew it, and we (the audience) knew it. The only one who didn’t know he was being played for a damn fool, was Aiden (poor little tink tink)
6. After you use a guy to be your pretend boyfriend, cheat on him with your beloved ex, and treat him like garbage in general, you can’t expect him to take you back just because that ex you wanted back so badly, left you high and dry and kicked your ass to the curb, once again. Carrie was a bit delusional and self-centered, but surely she didn’t expect Aiden to want her back after she admitted to screwing Big behind his back. (side-note, I wonder if Mr. Big was really BIG, if you know what I mean. He had to have been, because he had Carrie’s mind GONE). Anyway, back to the subject, as the saying goes, you never miss your water until your well runs dry. If you got a good thing, cherish it while you have it.
7.  Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it. One of the things I loathed about Carrie, was how she was always so quick to offer her sometimes negative opinions about the things her friends were going through, but if they did the same thing to her, she stormed off like a bratty two year old who couldn’t have her way. She never wanted to hear the other girls reprimand her about her bad choices, such as sleeping with a married man, or hooking up with that damn Russian dude who treated her like dog poop on the bottom of his shoe, every chance he got. Then her desperate ass, packed up and ran off to Paris with him, all in the name of love. When Miranda tried to tell her she was making a mistake, she got all huffy. And what happened, she got alllll the way across the water, and The Russian made her look and feel like a fool. Because this was TV Land, Big suddenly appeared (in Paris) and came to her rescue, even willing to go beat dude’s ass for slapping her,but in real life, it wouldn’t have happened that way. She would have stayed with old dude even after he pimp slapped her, because she’d left her fabulous life behind in NY, and because she wouldn’t have wanted to admit to her girls (especially Miranda) that they were right. Friendships are like relationships- give and take, 50/50. You can’t be right all the time, it just doesn’t work like that.
8. Did crime happen to EVERYBODY in NY except these four ladies? I mean they stayed running around the city, all times of the night, hooking up with strange men left and right, going home and sleeping with them as often as Carrie changed her shoes. I often thought they were extremely lucky because with all the rapists, robbers, stalkers, and murderers out there, they were lucky to have never encountered a few. Realistically, you can’t meet some random guy in a bar then end up making out in his limo, or waking up in his bed, and not encounter some type of danger. I know things weren’t as bad back in the late 90’s to early 2000’s when this show aired, but the threat of danger was still there. They were definitely playing Russian Roulette with their lives. I wouldn’t advise women to do these types of things today. Not unless you want to be on one of those crimes shows on the I.D. Channel.
9. What exactly did Carrie do for a living? No, for real. I’m not from NY, but I would imagine that rent for even the smallest apartment can’t be cheap. I never saw her cook a damn thing, she was always at some trendy restaurant having food and drinks with the girls. Then she stayed buying expensive shoes and clothes, but how in the hell could she afford them? Because I know damn well that writing for that column wasn’t paying that well? She couldn’t even afford to buy her apartment when she found out it was going co-op. I kind of felt bad when she went to the bank, trying to get a loan, and had nothing to her name. Honey, I love to shop and look good as much as the next person, but I need the roof over my head to be secure before I worry about frivolous things like clothes and shoes. Maybe that comes from me becoming a single mom at a young age. I learned very quickly to buy necessities first, and then splurge on other things. Whether you’re single or not, handle business first. She had to have had a sugar daddy or something, IJS.
10. Please know that not all women will be as passive as Natasha was when she came home to find her husband’s mistress (Carrie) in her home. Obviously, Carrie had never watched Snapped, because that’s a good way to make an appearance on the show. She acted all upset with Big, talking about they were ‘so over’ (LIES) but it should have been over the minute she found out he was married. I think in Carrie’s typical self-centered fashion, it made her feel good to know that not only was Big still screwing her every chance he got even though he was married, to do it in the house he shared with his wife, gave her some weird pleasure. Don’t try this at home, kids. Shows like this and Scandal will have you thinking that wives take her husband cheating with a grain of salt but these days, people will end your life over a few coins, so you better believe that it’s not wise to try some bull like this…unless you have a death wish.
All in all, I love this show. It has become one of my favorite things to watch on tv. Yes, the girls made a lot of bad decisions about men, dating, sex, and life in general, but that’s why we love it so much…because whether or not we’re willing to admit it, we’ve made the same mistakes, if not more. When I watch the show now, I don’t feel so bad about some of the stupid things I did when I was a single gal. I can relate to each and every character, in some way or another.

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